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my lyft driver blew past me on my street, windows open, blasting music and when he realized he overshot he slowly reversed as i walked towards him and we met in the middle and i got in but he didn’t turn the music down. jefferson airplane. i don’t want somebody to love. i want you to turn it down a little because i’m a fuddy duddy but i wasn’t always like this.

the next song was a country song about how this guy’s head is white, his neck is red and his collar blue and i’ve never jumped out of a moving vehicle before but YOLO! when it ended and a new song started and I recognized the guitar riff I asked/yelled “IS THIS VAN HALEN?” to which he said, “WHAT?!” and we played that game for a couple of rounds as I felt my ears start to bleed until he yelled “Yes! It is Van Halen! What do you know about Van Halen?”

I know David Lee Roth, Sammy Hagar and even Gary Cherone. I know Eddie Van Halen was married to Valerie Bertinelli at one point. I know that they made better music in the 90s than the 80s and i only yelled half of that out loud and not in that order.
”Well look at you,” he said. “Color me impressed.”

“Not the point,” I replied. “You asked so I answered.”

“Where are you from?” he asked.

“New Jersey,” like that would explain everything.

“No, where are you from from?”