lists

i’m always making a list. i don’t want to forget. sunday it was pasta and pantyliners. yesterday it was muffin, fries and tumeric latte. because food is weird and i miss fancy coffee drinks but my anxiety does not, my gut is punishing me or it’s just time for something else.

next year they say psilocybin will be legalized in oregon and i don’t understand how this place that started as a white only state can be this weirdly forward thinking. 3 years into a pandemic and we’re going to microdose our way into a more compassionate world. i hope. i think. but i know better too.

it’ll be like ayahuasca trips for rich folks. mushroom retreats for burnt out tech founders who can afford to search for god.

i made a list of what i’m moving away from and what i’m moving towards and i never remember what’s on it because it’s all intangible.

i want to be better.

not through yoga or meditation or microdosing or metformin 2x a day or anything that’s a given.

today’s list: find out what season it is for acorns. eat some cheese. nap with dogs.