making it to an evening spin class is like going to the dentist. i have all day to talk myself out of not going. i drag my feet. i dread it.
but then i get there and i see shiny capes and masks in assorted colors and i get to choose my colors because i'm early (i'm always early even when i drag my feet) and i start to get excited.
keith has a themed spin party at least once a month. this month was super hero themed.
i took a break from spin last fall. out of nowhere i just decided i wanted to do the least amount of cardio as possible. i managed to get back on a bike this past weekend for Paisley's 90 minute and my knee was happier for it. it was tough on the calves but it was good practice kicking my ego in the ass and doing what i needed to do to take care of myself and not thrash myself just to keep up with the class. last night was no different. i did what i could and stuff that didn't feel right i skipped.
self care = doing what you can and not what you think you should be doing.
i got home from class and shortly after little jack arrived, the puggle (we think) mix we're dog sitting while his foster family is out of town. charlie's been ok with him so far. they ran and wrestled themselves into a frenzy. it's the first time i've witnessed charlie being overprotective of his toys but he's getting better about it. we may be a 2 dog household sometime this year if the right dog comes along. there's a possible staffie who may need fostering and well, i'm a sucker for a squat smooth coat.
one of the things that having a dog around has helped me with is taking work stuff less seriously. i had no idea that would happen when we brought charlie home. when work stuff becomes stressful i take a minute to just watch charlie take the stuffing out of a new toy or run around the yard like a nutjob and all of a sudden things don't feel so dire. he's the reminder that there are more important things than getting upset that your vendors are failing you or deadlines keep moving.
in other news, i'm heading to vegas for work next week and while i'm mostly excited about it i'm a little wary. i haven't been to this tradeshow in years and i just remember them being exhausting. i know i'm well equipped to handle the show by knowing places i can run and hide when it gets too much for my introverted self. there are vendors i'm friends with where i'd go and recharge. i'm good at staking out spots outside of the show where i can sit and pretend i'm checking work email so people stay away.
i'm somewhat concerned about navigating food in vegas. it's nonstop food-booze-party. i'm not completely paralyzed with fear though as I'm currently not policing myself. it's a daily struggle to turn off the voice that is telling me that it's not too late to cut carbs before the show so i might shed a pound or two.
a pound or two.
and for whom?
other people? so i can be less offensively fat for other people?
this is where my brain goes.
my superhero name is actually 13-year-old-goth-girl and i'm really good at letting my self esteem spiral down the rabbit hole of badness.
climbing out one meditation session and puppy kiss at a time.