the time i climbed into the tub and pulled the shower curtain closed because it was the last place to hide.
the time my parents let us know that they were pregnant and my sister asked if we could put it back.
how much fun it was to give the baby slippery ice cubes.
making it rain shredded cheese over the dogs and watching their faces light up.
the 25 minute walk to the convenience store one block away in 3 inch heels without dying.
the time i raised my arms in the air and wiggled my body in a wave while hissing and called myself bacon and he thought i was a snake.
my first cigarette.
the time we test rode a tandem bike and my control issues refused to let me sit in the back and my fear oddly resulted in my inability to turn right.
the time i drunk purchased an eames chair.
eating scrambled eggs in a stale hot dog bun because I had $3.50 until payday.
crying because i was too young for all my shoes to look this orthopedic.
the time i bleached my hair at home because i was bored on my day off and no one was home to stop me.
the one time i tried to wear a thong and deeply regretted it.
the year of failing/falling underwear and losing weight.
the time i called josh on mushrooms to tell him everyone was having dinner and i could hear all their conversations.
hungover and trying to eat a cinnamon bun on a bus in chicago.
all the times jake called me selfish.
playing hungry hungry hippos with everyone’s prescription meds instead of the white marbles.
watching alix clean the apartment in her underwear and realizing that heroin could make me just as thin.
realizing that was awful but true and i thought about it.
the time we slept under tablecloths thinking they were blankets.
the time gloria showed up with $50 worth of popeye’s fried chicken and the room exploded in cheers.
the time i loaned my cellphone to a stranger at a coffee shop and he called his boyfriend. i listened to him break up with him then he handed it back to me while he cried.
the time the assistant at the vet hospital carried my dog out into the waiting room and called out, “Mother of Pancakes? Mother of Charlie Pancakes?”
the midnight panic attack about loneliness and the filipino nurse who drove me home because no one else could take me.
the time i called out of work hungover and my roommate set off a flea bomb in the apartment not knowing i was asleep.
the time i went back to the office after a miscarriage like nothing happened.
laying on the floor of josh and ryan’s kitchen ear candling and frying pickles.
losing feeling in both arms because we all fell asleep in a pile.
writing heavy metal band fan fiction in spiral bound notebooks.