when i was a kid i'd often day dream about my funeral.
out of all the adult milestones it was easier imagining dying than getting married. that and imagining my life as a waitress in a city a la "it's a living" because that's what you did when you moved to a city.
i couldn't wait to be a waitress and i couldn't wait to die.
it's still pretty accurate. lenny kravitz' 'fields of joy' is still the song i imagine when my body is carried into a churchy type place. when i was younger dead bodies were carried in coffins and i thought that was my only choice but now that i know being turned to dust is an option, i imagine a viewing, a wake before being cremated. i can already hear my playlist. star witness by neko case on repeat.
things i will be remembered for:
- food on her shirt
-tenuous relationship with social media
-very nice. maybe too nice?
-she liked dogs. like, a lot
-lots of crying
i look down at my lunch, a bowl of instant ramen extra souped up with shitakes and frozen corn and a medium boiled egg. at the end of the day no one will remember that i didn't eat enough green vegetables or consumed gallons of diet soda or preferred americanized mexican food.